If I Could Write, It Wouldn't Be This

Can you push it back and forth and keep it balanced?

2009-05-04T20:27:00.001-07:00

He is low to the ground he knows how to handle himself, not to mention he is black! i think he loves me just as much as i love him.

It would be easier to get over you if you were dead!

2009-02-06T02:09:00.000-08:00

I have a wart. Its name? Well, its Watson, "Watson the wart".

It came on a cold day, at first i observed it, seemingly small, round in shape,no change in color on top of my right hand knuckle, of all places!

A week went by, people started to now make comments on my round protruding flesh. 'What is that?' 'i don't know, it grew in a week!' and then i would become fascinated with my new topic of conversation, 'do you think its a wart?'... Needless to say most joined in with my fascination, mocked, or were simply and utterly repulsed. (NEVER USE THIS CONVERSATION STARTER IN A GROUP OF OLDER SISTERS IN SERVICE)

And then it became a problem...

You see Ive caved in with this new cool thing all the young hipsters are doing it these days, you may know it by its term "punching it" followed by a reaching out of the clenched fist to clenched fist touch of approval..... can you picture my problem yet? the whole location of the wart and everything, makes it all awkward when they don't want to touch you, so they try, and well you know, slyly go for the other hand, trying to fake like they thought you were left handed or something(almost punching you in the face).... ya ya when that happens. what was i talking about again? ri right lets get to week 2

THE BURNING!

So me and my partner in crime got together, we inspected the large rump on my knuckle(can i say rump?) Not being careful (well slightly) we decided to wart remover it. of course it went all white and crumbly, but then very very red and scary! heck id be angry too if someone tried to burn me out of their life (ahem stupid old BF), anyways anyways, not only did we burn him but we burnt all the skin around him. ' Give it a week, I'm sure it will be gone, and if not we'll burn it again'.... 'um ok eeeek blooody hurts', i thought in my head.

I GIVE IT A NAME!

By the time another week has passed, i have gone out and bought a new pair of leather gloves, its cold outside, im sick of Rachel mocking me about my pink leather gloves(she calls them gardening gloves), Audrey Hepburn never looses her style...

It must be human, it must be my twin, i burned it, picked it off, duct taped it, and it grew and grew and grew.

I keep getting comments like 'hey are you gonna name that thing?' You betchya its got a name!

"Watson the Wart"

....i tried to kill Watson last night again... :( one day i will succeed.

Fallon-EB

2009-01-15T00:34:00.000-08:00

I spend a lot of energy and time talking in generalities.
I watch a lot of movies, read some books, listen to CBC, thinking about life, how to do it right, how to be balanced, to find what i like, figure out who i want to be.
I do try to do personal study daily, altho i have slacked off these past couple of weeks.

Im not balanced, all i want to do is be able to get up in the morning around 7:30-8 be able to have a shower, make a coffee, and eat while doing my text and reading. My room is pitch black in the a.m, therefor i never get up.
When i do get up i stay at home, and wish i had someone calling or texting, or that just wanted me around. Id like the option of turning someone down because i have something better to do. lol. shallow and pointless, i know.
I think so much of my bordem i can't put it to good use, it's sucked the joy out of my personal study. I use to enjoy it more when i had to turn down invites so that i could buy out the time for it, now i have the time fore it but i spend it busy worrying.

So on a attempt to fix this vicious cycle this week for my study night, i looked up articles on two things

Being content
Loneliness

The loneliness article brought out that an artist is never lonely- people with hobbies. I aint got a hobby!

And i suddenly dont want to write anymore....

my soul is seeking the blind underneath the graves of defeat

2008-12-14T00:49:00.000-08:00

Dear blog, it has been a long time.

I fear my life and creativity has become less, well, creative, since we last spoke.
Come to think about it, it never really was creative.

I long for the days when i will use my brain to its full capacity.

I look for the eye of detail in the lands of stubbornness.

Music, Graphics, Dance, and Comedic Stance are what i long for. What i contemplate. My ideas don't translate.

i twist and turn in confusion, not my own, but in others confusion for what i am saying.... kinda like now.

i stop. i wait. and then i do a little dance... contemplate the world and everything, the number 42. and then i demonstrate the weight of a grey whale, balancing on a white square plate.

(hmm i don't know where that came from it just came out)

old eyes turn blue in the sun

2008-09-29T21:23:00.000-07:00

I find that as i sit here, honestly trying to figure out my next move in life, no job, no home, and virtually isolating myself from humans, i have been thinking random thoughts, now I'm sure that these aren't original thoughts, I'm positive that others before me have thought of these before, but they still amuse me.
Ive decided that i will learn something new everyday, or at least realize something everyday.

today I've thought about cows.

there amazing stomachs. i wish i had four compartments to store such nutritious things!

face book. how in the world has it become so popular? i realized that I've had a face book for a year. time flies. i also realized i check my face book very often. & u have to be careful what status update you post because most certainly someone will find a way to apply it to themselves and take it the wrong way. even if it was a movie quote, or something to do with a person that's hours away that's not even on your face book. or maybe their reply in their status to my status I'm just taking the wrong way?

sarcasm. at what point did i stop thinking sarcastically? i think it was the lack of munns, no one mocking me. that sure did keep me on my toes. so i tried to get it back today. i gave it a good effort to turn everything i thought about into some sort of sarcastic remark.

Ive been trying to be creative, not block out the silly thoughts... that's been wierd, i have a lot of perplexing thoughts. i wonder if they are dumb, if its just from my lack of education(as you can see with my writing skills) that i think these thoughts or if I'm just being more expressive.

i raked the house's yard. at nine thirty last nite. pitch dark in the rain, because i honestly had nothing else to do. HONESTLY. i have done all my study for the week, and extra personal study. I'm telling you lack of human.