my soul is seeking the blind underneath the graves of defeat

Dear blog, it has been a long time.

I fear my life and creativity has become less, well, creative, since we last spoke.
Come to think about it, it never really was creative.

I long for the days when i will use my brain to its full capacity.

I look for the eye of detail in the lands of stubbornness.

Music, Graphics, Dance, and Comedic Stance are what i long for. What i contemplate. My ideas don't translate.

i twist and turn in confusion, not my own, but in others confusion for what i am saying.... kinda like now.

i stop. i wait. and then i do a little dance... contemplate the world and everything, the number 42. and then i demonstrate the weight of a grey whale, balancing on a white square plate.

(hmm i don't know where that came from it just came out)

old eyes turn blue in the sun

I find that as i sit here, honestly trying to figure out my next move in life, no job, no home, and virtually isolating myself from humans, i have been thinking random thoughts, now I'm sure that these aren't original thoughts, I'm positive that others before me have thought of these before, but they still amuse me.
Ive decided that i will learn something new everyday, or at least realize something everyday.

• today I've thought about cows.

there amazing stomachs. i wish i had four compartments to store such nutritious things!

• face book. how in the world has it become so popular? i realized that I've had a face book for a year. time flies. i also realized i check my face book very often. & u have to be careful what status update you post because most certainly someone will find a way to apply it to themselves and take it the wrong way. even if it was a movie quote, or something to do with a person that's hours away that's not even on your face book. or maybe their reply in their status to my status I'm just taking the wrong way?

• sarcasm. at what point did i stop thinking sarcastically? i think it was the lack of munns, no one mocking me. that sure did keep me on my toes. so i tried to get it back today. i gave it a good effort to turn everything i thought about into some sort of sarcastic remark.

Ive been trying to be creative, not block out the silly thoughts... that's been wierd, i have a lot of perplexing thoughts. i wonder if they are dumb, if its just from my lack of education(as you can see with my writing skills) that i think these thoughts or if I'm just being more expressive.

i raked the house's yard. at nine thirty last nite. pitch dark in the rain, because i honestly had nothing else to do. HONESTLY. i have done all my study for the week, and extra personal study. I'm telling you lack of human.