I watch a lot of movies, read some books, listen to CBC, thinking about life, how to do it right, how to be balanced, to find what i like, figure out who i want to be.
I do try to do personal study daily, altho i have slacked off these past couple of weeks.
Im not balanced, all i want to do is be able to get up in the morning around 7:30-8 be able to have a shower, make a coffee, and eat while doing my text and reading. My room is pitch black in the a.m, therefor i never get up.
When i do get up i stay at home, and wish i had someone calling or texting, or that just wanted me around. Id like the option of turning someone down because i have something better to do. lol. shallow and pointless, i know.
I think so much of my bordem i can't put it to good use, it's sucked the joy out of my personal study. I use to enjoy it more when i had to turn down invites so that i could buy out the time for it, now i have the time fore it but i spend it busy worrying.
So on a attempt to fix this vicious cycle this week for my study night, i looked up articles on two things
- Being content
- Loneliness
The loneliness article brought out that an artist is never lonely- people with hobbies. I aint got a hobby!
And i suddenly dont want to write anymore....
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